Because I discovered simultaneously that

• the seminal goth rawk group The Sisters of Mercy have their very own website, and

• Andrew Eldritch, the lead singer, is quite witty.

The site has two pages devoted to FAQs; one that answers the boring questions, and one that answers the slightly less boring questions. But what really got me chuckling was Mr. Eldritch’s answer to probably the most frequently asked question:

Where did you get the name of the group?

This is the question which plagues every band on the planet.

It’s bad enough that mediocre journalists base whole articles on such secondary matters. Most journalists are worse than mediocre, so they have to actually ask the question first. This is because they can’t work it out, because they haven’t read the standard company biography, because they have no respect for their readers/listeners, and because they honestly can’t think of anything more valuable to ask. Let’s face it, even the tackiest pop combo is going to be insulted by this one.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been around. It doesn’t matter how obvious or abstract your bandname is. “People want to know.” Well, people – like journalists – could have figured it out for themselves if they were that bothered. Whenever you see this question appear in an interview or an article, you know that the journalist has left his/her brain in a matchbox somewhere. What constantly amazes me is the number of journalists who insist that their questions can only be answered in an exclusive face-to-face interview with the singer himself – and then they ask rubbish like this. The next one that’s “dying to know” can expect some tips on the finer points of the dying procedure. Incidentally, I’m tired of journalists who refuse to talk to the rest of the band and then portray the singer as a manipulative loner.

Back to the question, reluctantly. When you put a record out you have to hear The Bandname Question twenty times a day. It really is boring, but we’ll answer it one more time, in the hope that we never have to answer it again……

Leonard Cohen wrote a song in which – like us – “The Sisters Of Mercy, they are not departed or gone”. He should know. Is that why we picked the name? Almost. We did feel that the song would help the dimmest of the dim to interpret the name.

There is an ancient order of nuns called The Sisters Of Mercy. Significantly, the name is a popular reference to prostitutes. (Leonard Cohen’s song can be heard in the background of a scene from the film ‘McCabe And Mrs Miller’, in which Julie Christie leads her bedraggled troupe of whores up the muddy hill which is the main street of a shanty town in the wild west.)

Why use the name for a rock and roll band? Because dogma and prostitution go hand in hand in rock and roll…

…and not because Leonard Cohen songs are depressing, which they aren’t anyway. Leonard Cohen writes very droll and erudite songs. No wonder he’s misunderstood and vilified.

We could just as easily have been ‘The Captains Of Industry’. We almost were. But being all male, it wouldn’t have been as funny.

Of interest: they might actually have a new studio album, soon. I suppose that it will appear right behind the perpetually-delayed Fields of the Nephilim album.